Limited mobility can be isolating

July 12, 2017

I recently attended my 40th high school reunion.  There were so many activities planned for the entire weekend, I had to pick and choose what I wanted to do, or rather could do. This was the first time in a long time that I really wished I didn’t have RA and lupus. They kept me from participating in the bike tour of my hometown. I can’t ride a bike anymore.  I can barely walk most days. And I couldn’t do more than one activity a day, though the first night I did go to a junior high get-together and then a larger party with others. I was absolutely exhausted when I got home.

The main event was on Sunday at a local brew pub. Everything I attended was fun, don’t get me wrong, but because of my limited mobility I didn’t get to see many people I had hoped to see.

I sat down almost immediately after arriving at the reunion near the entrance so I could see who might be walking in. Also, a couple of friends went up to some people to tell them where I was. I’m sure they were thinking I was lazy or something, until they saw my cane. The Miriam they knew could walk around easily.

I learned some lessons at the reunion about being sick. First, it can be very isolating when you are unable to move around freely. Unless people are specifically looking for you, you probably won’t see many old friends. Some people didn’t know how to react to me with a cane. Some thought I was using it because I had sprained my ankle two days before the reunion. I had posted a photo of a badly bruised and swollen ankle on Facebook. My old friends were very tolerant of my situation, at least those I saw. I learned by watching these old friends that able-bodied people seem to take their mobility for granted. Someone like me can only watch from the sidelines.

A few of my old friends were very accommodating, coming to sit with me and chat for a while before moving on. I really appreciated that.

While I had fun at the main event, I had more fun the night before in the smaller group. Talk was easier and my limited mobility didn’t seem to be a problem for any of us. Plus, we had 40 years of life to catch up on.

There was also the issue of my energy level, or lack of. I left the reunion about an hour before its intended end. That was okay with me. I was tired and hurting.  As it was, when I was leaving, I bumped into two other old friends who wanted to chat and there was no place for me to sit. I finally had to end the conversation because I just couldn’t stand anymore. I’m hoping they didn’t think I was being rude. I would have loved to have stayed and chatted more with them. RA and lupus had other ideas.

I’m a positive person, so it was a shock to me that I was a little sad after the reunion. This was one time that the RA and lupus really got in my way. I suppose I could have gone up to people and reintroduced myself, told them I have a medical issue and asked them to come sit down and talk, but I didn’t think of that. Plus, getting up and down would have tired me out much more quickly than sitting and hoping to see people.

There really is no good way to go about seeing people at a large gathering. My high school graduating class had about 1,200 students. I was told around 230 or so of us were at the reunion.  That’s a lot of people. And some of us brought significant others with us.

The next reunion will be in 10 years. I’m guessing that my limited mobility will be less of an issue as many of us will have other medical issues.